the real thing

Monday, April 24, 2006

Transportation Tales

I drove into work today and there were many notable occurrences..
Firstly, with my new eyes, I like to see how far back I can read bumper stickers and whatnot on the cars ahead of me. (I'm still trying to convince myself that I can see better now then I could before the surgery.) So I spot a a purple bumper sticker on a Taurus .. I pull closer and read something the effect of "porn name" .. That sparked my interest of course so I get a little closer .. And read "Porn name : Do What Ye Will " They used some old-times font for the name. Why would someone put that on their car ? I mean it doesn't really make sense because I think everyone knows anyway that your porn name is supposed to be your middle name or your first pet and then the name of the street you grew up on... "Do what ye will" does not even fit within the rules. My porn name would be something along the lines of "Barney Verma" , but I dont think i will be putting that on a bumper sticker anytime soon. Oh to top it all off - the sticker wasn't even on the bumper it was on the trunk right next to the "Taurus" label.

Nextly - I was driving down a highway and came up upon a motorcycle.. I hate riding behind motorcycles... because you have to stay so far away but they can move so erratically and stop so quickly. After about a minute behind the guy I realized it was a state policeman.. just like on CHIPs (Ponch was my favorite). That was the first ever Indiana state policeman on a motorcycle I've ever seen or atleast can recall seeing. We were in the turning lane and I was bummed out because I thought the moto-cop was going to get on the interstate with me and severely lengthen my commute time. All of a sudden a big suburban flies across 3 lanes of traffic and cuts the policeman off. The light was red so the cop pulls up along side the truck and starts chatting with him, from my angle I could see the cop was smiling... they spoke for a few minutes and the light turned green but they did not move.. I was just about to start getting irritated but then the cop's smile turned to a grunt and he flipped his lights on directed the truck to pull over. Score !! I do wonder what the guy said.. but I'm glad he said it as I was able to get on the interstate and not have to worry about mr. motorcycle.

Lastly - This happened on Friday night when I was coming home around 10:30 after a late night rendeverous with the as/400 and I was jamming to my favorite Fall Out Boy Song, not realizing i had it soo very very loud. I pull up to the $2.50 toll with my loud music still on and hand the lady a $20, she immediately dropped 50 cents in my hand and turned back into the both to get the rest of the change. After what seemed to be a really long time, she hands me a huge wad of ones and says something, but I can't hear her over the music. At that point I realized how loud it was and put it on pause. She said .. "you must really like that song." and i responded " oh i love it, thanks" and unpaused the music and sped away. After I got home I looked at the wad of ones and it turns out there were 24 of them. Not 17. She gave me 7 extra dollars and now I feel terrible like my loud music threw her off or something.. I put the 7 dollars in my glove box in case I happen across the same toll booth lady, i remember her because she had her hair those really tight braids that seem to be popular nowadays, the receptionist at work said that her daughter wants to get them and it would cost 200 dollars and take about 6 hrs with 2 people working on her head, so anytime I see someone with them I think about how long it must have took.


  • I love this new blog you are doing. I laughed at everything!!! Too funny. You know way too much about porn names! How do you know all that? The cop thing was funny. Ponch was my favorite too! And the music! That poor woman couldn't think straight! I think it is great that you are keeping the money in case you see her again. You are such a good guy!!! I can't wait for the next post!

    By Blogger Tracy, at 6:48 AM  

  • you are almost as amazing as Beth.. Your children are going to come out great that is for sure. :)

    By Blogger Penny, at 2:05 PM  

  • I love this post! I could tell some tales too...the lovely day of commuting. Like this crazy woman was doing her makeup at every single light! And when she wasn't, she was drinking a double shot (I assume to get her thru the day), and if she wasn't doing that she was reading a craft magazine at the light. At least she did them at lights though.

    ......oh wait...that's me.

    LMAO!!! I guess I am too consumed into myself to look around. hahhahaha!!! Maybe I will look tomorrow. Then again...I will have no makeup, be bored, and very tired. look and I'll read from you.

    Oh and my porn name would be Elizabeth Dog Leg. Ummm...yeah...WEIRD! LOL! this blog MUCH better...I feel like I can actually read it. :)

    By Blogger Sara T, at 1:21 PM  

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